
Why Shadowing in Dementia May Occur
It helps to understand the reasoning behind shadowing. You are the senior’s safe place, the one who tends to make sense of a disorienting and confusing world, so when you are absent, life can seem frightening and uncertain. And realize that shadowing isn’t caused by anything you have done, but is simply a natural part of the progression of Alzheimer’s disease. Our dementia care team provides the following strategies that can help:- Extend the senior’s circle of trust. Having another person or two with you as you go through the older adult’s daily routines might help him/her begin to trust an individual apart from yourself. Slowly but surely, once that trust is in place, the senior will be a little more at ease when you need to step away, knowing there is still a lifeline available.
- Record yourself. Make a video of yourself doing laundry or tending to other day-to-day chores, singing, reading aloud, etc. and try playing it for the senior. This digital substitution might be all that’s needed to provide a sense of comfort while he or she is apart from you.
- Incorporate distractions. Finding a soothing activity for the older adult to engage in may be enough of a distraction to permit you a brief time period of respite. Try repetitive tasks, such assorting nuts and bolts or silverware, filing papers, or folding napkins, or anything else that is safe and of interest to your loved one.
- Avoid conflict. Your senior loved one could become angry or combative in an effort to express his or her concern about being alone. No matter what she or he may say, it is vital that you try to avoid quarreling with or correcting the senior. An appropriate response is to validate the person’s feelings (“I can see you are feeling upset,”) and refocus the conversation to a far more pleasant topic (“Would you like to try a piece of the banana bread we made this afternoon?”)
- Clarify the separation period. Because the sense of time is frequently lost in people diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, telling the senior you’ll just be away for a moment might not mean very much. Try using a standard wind-up kitchen timer for brief separations. Set the timer for the amount of time you will be away and ask the senior to hold onto it, explaining that when it rings, you will be back.