Do you remember how challenging it could be as a child to learn the lesson of sharing with your sisters and brothers? While the incredible importance of considering others’ feelings, and also being fair, was impressed upon us while very young, it can nevertheless be a difficult task to reduce sibling squabbles regarding challenging choices we have to deal with in adulthood – such as the best way to fairly divide caregiving needs for our aging parents.
Gregory French, president-elect of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, suggests, “What a family member considers ‘fair’ is very much dictated from that family member’s perspective…there’s a lot of family baggage that comes out, like: ‘Mom paid for your MBA, and she didn’t do that for me.’”
These instructions can help families get to an agreement on the most reasonable division of caregiving for a senior loved one:
- Engage the assistance of a mediator. Sitting down with a respected third party professional, such as an attorney or financial planner with a specialty in elder topics, could go a long way towards trying to keep the discussion on course and moving forward to the very best resolution.
- Take into consideration hands-on caregiving assistance vs. expenses. Splitting up care reasonably ought to include a conversation on how much time each sibling can dedicate to supplying care in the home, as well as how much financial care can be contributed. For instance, a brother or sister dwelling in close proximity to the individual may provide more time but lower financial help as compared to one who resides in another state.
- Document the conversation. Putting everything in writing makes sure that everyone is on the same page, and allows for the opportunity to go back and go over what was agreed upon later if a dispute should develop.
Most importantly, agree to set aside any residual childhood dynamics so that you can come together to provide the highest quality of care possible.
Home Sweet Home In-Home Care helps families keep a healthy life balance with the professional in-home care services for seniors that provide families with ease of mind in realizing their loved one is in the best of hands. Partnering with Home Sweet Home In-Home Care also means that families can spend even more quality time together, while our properly trained and experienced care providers help with a few of the more mundane elements of care, such as housekeeping, washing, preparing meals, running errands including food shopping and picking up prescriptions, and much more. Call us at 269-224-1683 for Portage in home care.